Speakers Club Meeting 24th April 2019
Open Evening South Lancaster Speakers Club

Advice Speakers Club Topic Mark Rogers

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Advice

 

So what are the real reasons for giving advice?

Are they the suggestions which you give someone else 

which you hope will work for your benefit?

Or is that just limited to the less scrupulous

of the salesmen around of double glazing and cars?

 

But isn’t advice regarded as something that we ask for,

when we already know the answer,

but wish we didn’t?

 

What about undeniably good advice

should we take it?

 

Like, do something wonderful,

people may imitate you?

 

Or find out what you don’t do well, 

then don’t do it?

 

Or nothing risqué, nothing gained?

 

Maybe like a good speaker, 

should one always try to be sincere, 

even if you don’t always mean it.

 

But always use tasteful words. 

You may have to eat them.

 

Should we take heed 

from those that speak quickly 

and always leave things to the last minute. 

Because that way it will only take a minute.

 

Thankfully there are no horrid, bigoted and generalised 

sexist clichés for me to quote here,

such as: “if you give a woman a minute,

then she will always take three.

 

But as Oscar Wilde did say,

“Don’t give a woman advice, 

one should never give a woman 

anything she can’t wear in the evening.

 

Did he mean, like wearing a fur coat 

for walking along Morecambe freezing promenade

by the sea and on the beach:-

 

Someone else has also recommended

that the best advicethey have for Morecambe

is to “keep Britain tidyand eat a pigeon;

 

Yet surely the vegan campaigners

will not approve of any politically incorrect talk 

of increased pigeon consumption, will they?

 

But do you believe in free speech?

Good, can I just borrow your mobile phone, then please.

 

By the way, did you buy your mobile phone on the internet. 

If so, did you take advice about buying on line.

Because apparentlone of the questionable aspects here  

is that, if something is really worth having, 

then it is not always on eBay.

 

Wouldn’t you agree 

that there can be some very good advice 

on the internet about health 

and there can also be some utter rubbish on it.

Indeed, there must be something rather special 

about that acupuncture

because you never see any sick hedgehogs or porcupines, do you?

 

Isn’t it wonderful 

how there are such huge numbers of people in the world 

who are now using computers 

instead of having to reference 

encyclopedias and educational text books, etc.

So now being able to access 

key desired information, guidance and advice 

on virtually anything in the world.

 

Indeed, the ASC is, of course, very much on linetoo.

But what additional advice 

could one try and give the ASC 

to increase it’s profile and membership numbers.

 

Could it be, to never join a bowling club if you don’t play bowls.

Similarly, do not join a tennis club if you don’t play tennis,

nonever ever belong to a Speakers Club 

if you do not write a brand new speech,

every fortnight, during a season.

 

Would the ASC be in an improved state,

and have more to offer as a whole,

if it was to adapt accordingly 

and turn itself into an organisation 

which is better able to accommodate 

increased numbers of teenage junior members.

 

 

 

Not wishing to be too ageist

but surely there are significantly high numbers

of teenagers out there

who could individually write a brand new speech or presentation

every single week of the year,

if they were encouraged

and provided with such valuable opportunities to do so.

 

So how would teenagers cope with the ASC?

 

Or should we just give them a licenced chaperone 

and a minder for their mind, body and soul.

 

What about further advice and suggestions

that could be given to the ASC,

for it to consider improving as a whole,

to benefit it’s members of all ages.

 

As a lot of UK organisations are now expanding 

and becoming global.

 

But look what happened when the ASC 

attempted to open up and operate in Australia,

with Dame Everidge assisting in the promotion.

 

 

As Dame Everidge did then publicly criticise the ASC when she said:

“Hello possums”. Don’t you just love it.

 

Mary Whitehouse wanted to join

the international Association of Speakers Clubs.

 

But she found it too restrictive.

 

She said, I can’t talk about religion, I can’t talk about sex,

I can’t talk about myself, and I can’t talk about Brexit”.

 

I would now like to conclude

that as with Brexit

and so many other complex things in life,

and in overall and summarised terms,

isn’t it often abso-bally-lutely brilliant 

to seek, the best possible advice when needed.

 

Along with obtaining supportive, 

tip top second and third opinions

to check for consistency and authenticity. 

 

You can still be the final judge of it.

 

Take heed. Never end a speech with a piece of advice.                                   

Unless, and unlike myself, you are an expert.

 

 

Mark Rogers

South Lancaster Speakers Club

South Lancaster Speakers Club meets 7.30pm most 2nd & 4th Wednesdays from September to May at Hollins Lane Methodist Church School Room, Forton, PR3 0AB. Call 01524 805554

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