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December 2019

Lancaster Speakers Club Christmas Dinner The Fleece Inn Dolphinholme Forest Of Bowland



































Carol sent her apologies due to illnes.

The portraits were taken with a Nikon 135mm lens on a D800.

The images will support members CV/Bio.

A range of fun questions accompanies these.

Out-of-the-box interview questions. 

What would your autobiography be called? 

Describe your life using film titles. 

Which animal would make the best type of prime minister if the animal kingdom ever rises up and takes over? 

If you were the CEO of a company, name one thing you would make compulsory in the office and one thing you would ban in the office. 

What would your pet say about you if we asked for a reference? 

If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be and why? 

What's the colour of money? 

If you had to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, but all your human needs—such as food and water—were taken care of, what two items would you want to have with you? 

Are you a hunter or a gatherer? 

What was the last gift you gave someone? 

Members have volunteered to share some of their speeches online to make an important contribution to the South Lancaster Speakers Club website. Here, the objective to deliver essential education and training to the club's online audiences.

I will ask if they would like to make audio and video recordings to support this process.



South Lancaster Speakers Club meets 7.30pm most 2nd & 4th Wednesdays from September to May at Galgate Methodist Hall, Chapel Lane, Galgate, Lancashire. LA2 0PN.

Speakers Reading Literature and Poem Themes for Developing Public Speaking Skills

Training In Communications & Public Speaking Lancaster



11th DECEMBER 2019

In Attendance:- Diana Douglas, James Douglas, Jane Entwistle, John Entwistle, Eddy Jackson, Louise Jackson, Carol Kershaw, David Knox, Joyce Meiring (2) and Sue Solloway.

Apologies:- Andrew Hawkes

Greetings and Introductions

The President opened the Meeting by welcoming those present.

The Chair for the evening was Diana Douglas.

The Prepared Speech for the evening was given by Sue Solloway, the title was “ A Poem – In Praise Of You “ It was an unconventional speech as it was set to verse. The poem spoke of every member of the club highlighting their forte. The humour was very gentle and the audience rapport was whole hearted.

What is a praise poem?

John Entwistle Evaluated Sue’s speech and pointed out the various strong points contained within the contribution and felt that the speech was very inclusive of the membership and that it had been well received by those present.


The next part of the meeting was different from normal and took the form of each speaker giving a four minute reading of their choice eg a poem, a piece of prose, a newspaper article.

David Knox – Tam o’ Shanter by Rabbie Burns (extracts)

When chapman billies leave the street,

And drouthy neebors, neebors meet,

As market-days are wearing late,

An’ folk begin to tak the gate;

While we sit bousing at the nappy,

And getting fou and unco’ happy,

We think na on the lang Scots miles,

The mosses, waters, slaps and styles,

That lie between us and our hame,

Whare sits our sulky sullen dame,

Gathering her brows like gathering storm,

Nursing her wrath to keep it warm.


O Tam! hadst thou but been sae wise,

As ta’en thy ain wife Kate’s advice!

She taul thee weel thou was a skellum,

A blethering, blustering, drunken blellum;

That frae November till October,

Ae market-day thou was nae sober;


But to our tale: Ae market-night,

Tam had got planted unco right;

Fast by an ingle, bleezing finely,

Wi’ reaming swats, that drank divinely;

And at his elbow, Souter Johnny,

His ancient, trusty, drouthy crony;

Tam lo’ed him like a vera brither;

The had been fou for weeks thegither.

The night drave on wi’ sangs and clatter;

And ay the ale was growing better:

The landlady and Tam grew gracious,

Wi’ favours, secret, sweet, and precious:

The Souter tauld his queerest stories;

The landlord’s laugh was ready chorus:

The storm without might rair and rustle,

Tam did na mind the storm a whistle.


Weel mounted on his gray mare, Meg,

A better never lifted leg,

Tam skelpit on thro’ dub and mire,

Despising wind, and rain, and fire;

Whiles holding fast his gude blue bonnet;

Whiles crooning o’er some auld Scots sonnet;

Whiles glowring round wi’ prudent cares,

Lest bogles catch him unawares:

Kirk-Alloway was drawing nigh,

Whare ghaists and houlets nightly cry.—


Ah, Tam! Ah, Tam! thou’ll get thy fairin!

In hell they’ll roast thee like a herrin!

In vain thy Kate awaits thy comin!

Kate soon will be a woefu’ woman!

Now, do thy speedy utmost, Meg,

And win the key-stane of the brig;

There at them thou thy tail may toss,

A running stream they dare na cross.

But ere the key-stane she could make,

The fient a tail she had to shake!

For Nannie, far before the rest,

Hard upon noble Maggie prest,

And flew at Tam wi’ furious ettle;

But little wist she Maggie’s mettle—

Ae spring brought off her master hale,

But left behind her ain gray tail:

The carlin claught her by the rump,

And left poor Maggie scarce a stump.


Now, wha this tale o’ truth shall read,

Ilk man and mother’s son, take heed:

Whene’er to drink you are inclin’d,

Or cutty-sarks run in your mind,

Think, ye may buy the joys o’er dear,

Remember Tam o’ Shanter’s mare.


Eddy Jackson – Marion Moore's views on Marriage

The reading started with an extract from the King Jame's Bible. Genesis 2:

"And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."


A Lancashire Speakers Club Reading Topic



This institution,
perhaps one should say enterprise
out of respect for which
one says one need not change one's mind
about a thing one has believed in,
requiring public promises
of one's intention
to fulfill a private obligation:
I wonder what Adam and Eve
think of it by this time,
this firegilt steel
alive with goldenness;
how bright it shows --
"of circular traditions and impostures,
committing many spoils,"
requiring all one's criminal ingenuity
to avoid!


Jane Entwistle – Macavity– The Mystery Cat by T. S. Eliot



Joyce Meiring – St. Kilda – The Street where we lived



Carol Kershaw - Joyce Grenville – a humorous narrative



James Douglas - On a Tennis Court





Diana Douglas – Installing a Husband

Installing A Husband

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?


First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support



Louise Jackson – George’s Marvellous Medicine – Roald Dahl


Quite simply, he was going to put in EVERYTHING.


John Entwistle – The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey- JRR Tolkien



The readings were Evaluated by Carol Kershaw, Eddy Jackson and Jane Entwistle, each making appropriate comments on three speakers. The comments made primarily concentrated around the use of voice, pause, inclination and rapport due to the nature of the subject.

Topics Session

The Chair for this session was David Knox and the theme for the two minute topic was ‘Food at Christmas’ and preferences.

Sue Solloway –

Smoked Salmon & Scrambled Eggs v Coffee & Croissants

Sue felt that there was no contest here. Smoked salmon won quite easily, croissants full of calories and unhealthy fat. Rather than have smoked salmon her preference would be gravelax.

Jane Entwistle – French Onion Soup v Prawn Cocktail

Jane was not keen on either of these choices. Perhaps the reason for not liking the soup is that she had never tasted a good one. If she had to choose then she would have Prawn Cocktail but would have rocket rather than ordinary lettuce and perhaps have gravelax instead of prawns.

Diana Douglas- Turkey V Nut Roast

Diana knew that she would be having Turkey but would prefer to have the vegetarian option and perhaps she would visit the local delicatessen in order to buy some nut roast.

Joyce Meiring – Christmas Pudding V Trifle

Joyce informed the audience that her husband had made the Christmas Pudding on the menu and therefore felt obliged to eat it although she would prefer to have Trifle with lovely home made custard, cream and alcohol induced sponge.

John Entwistle – Cheese & Biscuits V After Eight Mints

There was no competition here cheese and biscuits was his choice. Many local cheeses available. However, John had an excellent tip for people who likes After Eights. If you are out walking take a Mars Bar bury it in the snow then cut it up into slices get some minty toothpaste, spread some on the pieces and you have something like an after dinner mint.

Louise Jackson – Sandwiches V Bubble and Squeak

Louise did not particularly like sandwiches but did like cold meats. Bubble and Squeak would be her preference and would include caramelised onions, slowly cooked.


The Topics were Evaluated by James Douglas

The Topics Evaluator gave a very fair, constructive critique of the presentations given.

The General Evaluation was carried out by David Knox.

Given that the format of the evening had the potential to overrun the Chair ran the meeting in a very efficient manner. The evening had been different from the normal meeting and the Education Director should be congratulated for producing an appropriate/relevant agenda. The Readings were varied and interesting, informative, funny. Comments were also made about the Evaluators and their contributions, giving advice as well as recognising the good points made. Overall the evening was very enjoyable and successful and looked forward to the next meeting.

Business Session

The President reminded those present about the meal on Wednesday 18th December and that the menu choices had been forwarded to The Fleece.

The Education Director commented on the Readings and the benefits of having such a session.

In closing the meeting the President wished everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

                             The Meeting ended at 9.28

           Date of next Meeting Wednesday 8th January 2020.


Public Speaking Training South Lancaster Speakers Club



South Lancaster Speakers Club meets 7.30pm most 2nd & 4th Wednesdays from September to May at Galgate Methodist Hall, Chapel Lane, Galgate, Lancashire. LA2 0PN.